


Juliet Loves the Beat and the Lust It Commands || Marvel Text AU

by orphan_account



Series: Until You Bury Me [1]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Avenger Loki (Marvel), Awesome Carol Danvers, Awesome James "Rhodey" Rhodes, Awesome Laura Barton, Awesome Maria Hill, Awesome Pepper Potts, Awesome Shuri (Marvel), Awesome Wanda Maximoff, BAMF Brunnhilde | Valkyrie (Marvel), BAMF Carol Danvers, BAMF Hope Van Dyne, BAMF Maria Hill, BAMF Nebula (Marvel), Big Brother Harley Keener, Bruce Banner & Tony Stark Friendship, Bruce Banner Has Issues, Bruce Banner Is a Good Bro, Bruce Banner Needs a Hug, Brunnhilde | Valkyrie & Loki Friendship (Marvel), Brunnhilde | Valkyrie (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Brunnhilde | Valkyrie (Marvel) is a Good Bro, Bucky Barnes & Clint Barton Friendship, Bucky Barnes & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Bucky Barnes & Shuri Friendship, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Bucky Barnes Remembers, Bucky Barnes and the 21st Century, Carol Danvers & Steve Rogers Friendship, Carol Danvers & Tony Stark Friendship, Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Clint Barton & Sam Wilson Friendship, Clint Barton Feels, Clint Barton Is a Good Bro, Confused Scott Lang, Deaf Clint Barton, Domestic Avengers, F/F, Fluff, Genius Shuri (Marvel), Harley Keener & Peter Parker Friendship, Harley Keener as Iron Lad, Harley Keener is a Good Bro, James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark Friendship, James "Rhodey" Rhodes is a Good Bro, Jewish Wanda Maximoff, Loki (Marvel) Does What He Wants, Loki (Marvel) is a Good Bro, M/M, Maria Hill is a Good Bro, Meme Lord Shuri (Marvel), Multi, Natasha Romanov Is Not A Robot, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Nebula & Tony Stark Friendship, Nebula (Marvel) Feels, Nebula (Marvel) is a Good Bro, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Oblivious Stephen Strange, One-Sided Attraction, Parent Carol Danvers, Parent Pepper Potts, Parent Tony Stark, Past Harry Osborn/Peter Parker, Pepper Potts & James "Rhodey" Rhodes Friendship, Pepper Potts & Tony Stark Friendship, Pepper Potts Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Peter Parker & Shuri Friendship, Peter Parker Has a Family, Peter Parker is a Little Shit, Pietro Maximoff Dies, Precious Peter Parker, Protective Natasha Romanov, Protective Pepper Potts, Protective Scott Lang, Protective T'Challa (Marvel), Protective Thor (Marvel), Protective Vision (Marvel), Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro, Sam Wilson is So Done, Sam Wilson is a Gift, Scott Lang is a Good Bro, Stephen Strange & Wong Friendship, Stephen Strange Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Stephen Strange is a Good Bro, Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Steve Rogers & Thor Friendship, Steve Rogers & Tony Stark Friendship, Steve Rogers Is a Good Bro, Steve Rogers and the 21st Century, Steve Rogers is Not a Virgin, Sweet T'Challa (Marvel), Sweet Vision (Marvel), T'Challa (Marvel) Is a Good Bro, Texting, Thor (Marvel) is Not Stupid, Thor (Marvel) is a Good Bro, Tony Stark & Thor Friendship, Tony Stark Acting as Harley Keener's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark is Good With Kids, Uncle James "Rhodey" Rhodes, Vision (Marvel) Cooks, Wanda Maximoff & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Wanda Maximoff & Peter Parker Friendship, Wanda Maximoff Helps Bucky Barnes Recover, Wanda Maximoff Needs a Hug, but peter is aroace, harley has a crush on peter, thank you for coming to my TedTalk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-04-09
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:20:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23531467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: a random text au-
Relationships: Betty Brant/Ned Leeds, Bruce Banner/Thor, Brunnhilde | Valkyrie/Carol Danvers, Cassie Lang & Peter Parker, Clint Barton/Laura Barton, Harley Keener & Cassie Lang & Peter Parker & Shuri, Harley Keener & Harley Keener's Sister & Peter Parker & Nebula & Morgan Stark (MCU), Harley Keener & Peter Parker, Harley Keener & Peter Parker & Shuri, Harley Keener & Tony Stark, Harry Osborn & Peter Parker, James "Bucky" Barnes/Sam Wilson, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers/Sam Wilson, Maria Hill/Natasha Romanov, Maria Hill/Pepper Potts, Maria Hill/Pepper Potts/Natasha Romanov, Michelle Jones & Ned Leeds & Peter Parker & Shuri, Michelle Jones/Shuri, Nakia (Black Panther)/T'Challa, Nebula & Tony Stark, Pepper Potts/Natasha Romanov, Peter Parker & Shuri, Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Scott Lang/Hope Van Dyne, Steve Rogers/Sam Wilson, Tony Stark/Stephen Strange, Wanda Maximoff/Vision
Series: Until You Bury Me [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1693408
Comments: 5
Kudos: 47





	1. Chapter 1

Sunday, 4/6/20

**The** **Avengers**

hot mess: so hello

ass in assassin: tony why

god bless america: Oh, hello Tony.

hot mess: yeah so sry abt the sokovia accords lmao

ass in assassin: saying lmao doesnt hide your pain

wicked witch of the west: yes it does lmao

himbo: What are the Sokovia Accords

birb: thor where tf are you

birb: wait why am i 'birb'

hot mess: bc ur superhero name is a bird?

birb: then lets play a guessing game, am i clint or sam?

hot mess: ok fair point

hot mess: but clint is named something more obvious

birb: okay fine

skience: id like to know what the Sokovia Accords are as well

god bless america: The Sokovia Accords was something we were supposed to sign to say that we would only act if the government told us to, but we got into a fight since some of us didn't want to sign

hot mess: to be fair, u lied to me, bitch

god bless america: I apologized!

hot mess: ur russian friend didnt

ass in assassin: why should i??

hot mess: no the other one

god bless america: Bucky doesn't need to apologize, he was brainwashed!

hot mess: he still fuckin lied

ass in assassin: rip to bucky but im different

bucket: :(

birb: aight tony you made him sad

birb: be prepared to catch these hands

hot mess: unless u want me to paralyze u, id suggest u back off

rode: tony calm tf down

bucket: im sorry, tony

hot mess: see!!! it's not that hard

god bless america: Okay we get it.

matt's only friend: wait do all of us that agree with steve have to apologize??

birb: oh youre right clint's name is more obvious

hot mess: lol no just james

rode: why me

hot mess: no the other james

rode: i thought i was your james :(

hot mess: lol fuk no

rode: why :((

hot mess: bc ur my rhodey

rode: :)

god bless america: Almost threw hands with a fourty year old.

ass in assassin: but why does this chat exist?

hot mess: bc

**Teenagers Scare the Living Shit Out of Themselves**

pepe: things are getting heated in the avengers chat

pepe has sent an image

ned: you are correct and you should say it

potato: wait youre in the avengers chat and im not

pepe: dont take it personally <3

potato: :((

ned: harls i dont think tony knows you exist anymore

potato: tell that to the facetime call we had ten minutes ago

pepe: wh

pepe: so you answer his facetime calls but not mine??

potato: dont take it personally <3

pepe: bitch

potato: motherfucker

pepe: meanie

potato: stupid head

pepe: jerk

potato: punk 

geek lmao: stfu

pepe: why

geek lmao: i stole your ex gf and we are on a date

nerd lol: ^

pepe: mj

nerd lol: yes

pepe: kindly stfu

nerd lol: only because my girlfriend is taking me on a date

geek lmao: :)

bet: if only my bf would take me on a date

ned: .

hairy: betty is right and she should say it

ned: okay but im. busy

bet: doing what

ned: im actually on my way back to new york

pepe: wait where tf were you??

ned: i was in california visiting my granny

potato: no you should come visit me

pepe: harley weve all been in the same room once and you didnt tell us where you live

potato: ok fair

hairy: bitch where do live???

potato: that is. classified

pepe: ._.

pepe: [why are you like this](https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https%3A%2F%2Fimage.shutterstock.com%2Fz%2Fstock-photo-upset-by-loss-failure-reaction-of-woman-face-698970520.jpg&imgrefurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.shutterstock.com%2Fimage-photo%2Fupset-by-loss-failure-reaction-woman-698970520&tbnid=HQW5xcFdq4HPHM&vet=1&docid=dFdOxW2H25eNgM&w=1500&h=945&q=upset%20reaction%20image&hl=en-US&source=sh%2Fx%2Fim)

potato: fuck you thats why

potato: why should guess where i live

ned: rhode island??

potato: where the fuck did you come up with that?

ned: yes

potato: well i dont live there

hairy: i bet he lives in like kentucky or illinois

bet: no he for sure lives in indiana

potato: no to all of those

potato: indiana is trash tho

hairy: north carolina??

potato: where the hell do you get these guesses

potato: i dont live in north carolina

pepe: well, i asked karen, and she asked vision (who was jarvis at the time) who said that harley keener lives in tennessee. specifically rose hill, tennessee.

bet: exposed

potato: 😳👉👈

potato: daddy knows where i live

geek lmao: kinky

pepe: [harley-](https://images.app.goo.gl/ixSmfWtmofMT8YZW8)

ned: this escalated 

potato: okay now you know where i live come steal me and my sister

hairy: *my sister and me

potato: stfu

pepe: :) we'll think about it

**Space Is Cool**

lesbiab: i wanna go home :(

bishreksual: then come home bb!!!

no homo: Take your PDA elsewhere

all homo: yeah, at least Thor and I don't use 'bb'

ace in space: shut up

ace in space: all of you

lesbiab: loki i will. kill you

ace in space: i have a death kink ;)

no homo: Brother, I don't know what that means, but you added a winky face so I am concerned

bishreksual: fuck all of you except for carol!! <3

lesbiab: <3 <3 <3

ace in space: [fuckin losers](https://images.app.goo.gl/UbtgJaDnVUacDDNw7)

**Sad People Chat :')**

jame: wanda are you doing alright??

sad child: yea, ive been good!! :)

jame: how about you, bucky??

sad elder: ive also been good, my boyfriends are really nice to me :)

jame: tony??

sad: ive been better since peter showed up

jame: thats good :))

jame: natasha?

sad asshole: i havent been doin so hot, but clint let me stay in the guest room for the time being

jame: just remember to tell us if something goes wrong, okay?

sad asshole: got it

jame: sam, have you had anymore nightmares about riley?

sad birdie: nah, just good dreams about my boyfriends :)

sad elder: <3

jame: thats great!!

sad: but remind me again why we dont see actual therapists?

jame: bucky, sam, wanda, and natasha are basically criminals and you have an actual therapist, tony

sad: pepper doesnt count

jame: yes she does

jame: she literally went to school for it-

pep: ^^^

sad: okay fine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a decent start to this fic i guess,, i'll probably update a lot,,, at least i hope i will


	2. Chapter 2

**The Avengers**

spider-boy: mr stark

spider-boy: mr stark

spider-boy: mr stark

spider-boy: mr stark

spider-boy: mr stark

hot mess: what the hell do u want

spider-boy: hi :)

bucket: wow isnt that cute

hot mess: dont patronize us >:((

bucket: fucking rude

bucket: wow

birb: babe calm down

hot mess: say 'babe' again i dare u

birb: b a b e

god bless america: Tony, Sam, be nice.

hot mess has changed gob bless america's name to stove

hot mess: bitch no

ass in assassin: all of you shut the fuck up before i kill you :)

spider-boy: but!!!

ass in assassin: except the spider child

spider-boy: thank ms romanov :D

matt's only friend: :/

ass in assassin: fuck it goodbye

ass in assassin has left the chat

himbo has added ass in assassin to the chat

ass in assassin: of all people, i did not expect thor to add me back thanks thor

himbo: 😉

hot mess: wow never use emojis again

ass in assassin: ignore tony everyone send your favorite emoji

matt's only friend: 🐔 it's cute

spider-boy: 😎

hot mess: i expected that wow

stove: 😷

matt's only friend: ^^^ honestly a mood

birb: 💀

stove: Why is that your favorite?

birb: because fuck you

stove: I thought I was supposed to fuck you ;)

hot mess: GET IT STEVE

hot mess: i still hate you btw

bucket: okay i see how it is

bucket: but here is my emoji :) 

bucket: 🔫🔪💣

ass in assassin: thats three

bucket: it's a tie

himbo: 💞

birb: wait thats cute thors favorite emojis are a bunch of hearts omg

skience: so thats why you send them to me 24/7??

himbo: :) 💞

ass in assassin: ew thats gay

stove: You're gay?

matt's only friend: rip natasha

hot mess: 🎉 is my personal favorite :)

birb: tony??? participating in things??? thats new woah

skience: 😳 is what i use most often so i guess it's my favorite?

spider-boy has sent an image

spider-boy: harley uses that emoji constantly lol

spider-boy: WAIT I FORGOT TO CROP IT

hot mess: teLL ME WHY HE CALLED YOU DADDY

spider-boy has left the chat

birb has added spider-boy to the chat

birb: tell :)

spider-boy: hE WAS JOKING PLS DONT YELL AT ME

hot mess: im. confusion

spider-boy: i found out where he lives it was a joke pls dont yell at him either

ass in assassin: tony being a protective parent for 30+ years

bucket: peter trying to get out of trouble for 10+ years

skience: us talking about harley behind his back for 5+ years

**Teenagers Scare the Living Shit Out of Themselves**

pepe: jdjsmbsbdbw

potato: peter what did you do

pepe: apalsnwiqnq harls dont be mad hhh

potato: im not going to be mad

pepe has sent an image

potato: yo what the FUCK

pepe: you said you wouldnt be mad!!!!

potato: skdhfsnsjdkd right im sorry,,

ned: y'all type like homosexuals

pepe: because we are???

pepe: but im sorry harley!!!

potato: hhhh it's okay!!!

geek lmao: 'hhhh'

pepe: stfu

nerd lol: be nice, loser

pepe: i am TRYING

pepe: but it's HARD

hairy: pete calm down

pepe: dont tell me to CALM DOWN >:((((((

hairy: reason one why i dont talk to peter anymore

pepe: D:

pepe: im being bullied

potato: thats what you get

potato: k a r m a

geek lmao: peter exposed harley i find this funny is this not funny anymore

nerd lol: no it's hilarious but rn we bully peter

ned: rip to peter but im different

pepe: im telling mr stark >:(

bet: rip to us

**must protect at all costs**

peter has sent an image

peter: im being bullied :((

soft: i will. murder them

soft: also why am i still 'soft'??

peter: yes, murder them with your WORDS

peter: also cus youre a soft assassin

soft: wait what is this chat called for you

soft: because for me it's 'spider child is annoying'

peter: wow

peter: rude

peter: but i dont have to tell you anything just help blease

soft: okay fine

soft: just add me to the chat?

peter: okay!!

**Teenagers Scare the Living Shit Out of Themselves**

pepe has added bucky to the chat

pepe has changed bucky's username to soft

soft: goddamnit peter

pepe: thats 🅱eter to you

ned: wait bucky as in bucky barnes

bet: wait the winter soldier

soft: actually it's the white wolf now but fine

soft: znd stop bullying peter

pepe: *🅱eter

potato: **and

soft: i hate teenagers

geek lmao: you used to be a teenager

soft: your point is??

potato: low self-esteem gang rise up

pepe: low self-esteem gang rise up

hairy: low self-esteem gang rise up

soft: low self-esteem gang rise up

ned: rip to the other boys but im different

bet: iM nOT likE tHe oTHeR bOYS XDDDD uwu iM quIRKy XP >~<

soft: jesus christ

potato: :o

soft has left the chat

pepe: next time think before you cyber bully

**< 333**

steve: Are you guys home?

bucky: im actually at loki's

steve: And how is he today?

bucky: actually is a neutral day, but theyre doing great

steve: That's good :D

sam: yeah im at home

steve: Okay, I'm in the driveway.

sam: thats nice

bucky: what do you guys want to eat tonight??

sam: you

steve: You.

bucky: thats kinky

bucky: but i mean like,,, food wise

sam: bold of you to assume that you arent a snack

bucky: i did not come here just to be treated like a bottom

steve: Then why, pray tell, did you come here?

bucky: okay i got nothing

bucky: but im hungry :(

sam: im in the mood for arbys

steve: Ew.

sam: okay, well how about my famous pancakes??

bucky: absolutely!!!

steve: Yes please.

sam: i'll get them started :))

**Space is Cool**

ace in space: barnes is talking with his boyfriends again im lonely

lesbiab: thats sad, you should get a partner

bishreksual: carol is off limits!!!

ace in space: like id get with her of all people

lesbiab: do you wanna fuckin go

lesbiab: cause i'll fuckin go

lesbiab: square up motherfucker

ace in space: i am not. looking for a fight

ace in space: i just want someone to date??

no homo: Well, consider talking to this nice fellow

no homo has added strange to the chat

no homo has changed strange's username to gaynge

ace in space: absolutely not

ace in space: no

ace in space: thats disgusting

gaynge: okay tell me how you really feel

gaynge: besides, i already have a date

lesbiab: with who???

gaynge: you know who he is

lesbiab: no i dont

lesbiab: thats why i asked

lesbiab: oH

no homo: YOU HAVE A DATE WITH

no homo: stARK???

full homo: dear God I'm sorry Stephen

gaynge: hes not that bad

ace in space: uh sure

bishreksual: this is unrelated to our conversation but peter parker just told me that i radiate 'big dick energy',,, what does that mean??????

ace in space: im too lazy to explain but you dont radiate big dick energy

gaynge: carol does though

full homo: Tony does as well

lesbiab: thor doesnt tho

no homo: You are lucky that I don't know what 'big dick energy' is.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heres a key for the characters and their usernames for this chapter (i'll try and start putting keys at the beginning of each chapter)!!!
> 
> tony - mr stark  
> natasha - natasha  
> steve - steve  
> clint - clint  
> thor - thor  
> bucky - soft  
> sam - sam  
> peter - peter  
> t'challa - furry  
> shuri - shuri  
> mj - mj  
> harry osborne - harry  
> ned - ned  
> betty - betty  
> nebula - nebula  
> carol - carol  
> valkyrie - valkyrie  
> bruce - bruce  
> loki - loki  
> wanda - wanda  
> harley - harley  
> rhodes - rhodey  
> ant - scott  
> wasp - hope  
> strange - stephen  
> hill - maria hill  
> okoye - okoye
> 
> for this chapter, most are pretty straightforward but it's always nice to have a guide :D  
> next chapter i'll ad the names for all of the other chats

  


**Big Fun Chat**

  


peter: welcome to my beautiful chat :)

sam: this is not. beautiful

mr stark: pete

mr stark: y

peter: cus i waanted a big chat with everyone in it >:(

bruce: lovely

steve: Hey, I'm just happy that we have out actual names.

soft: easy for you to say

peter: :)

natasha: thats the smile of an innocent child

clint: protect him

wanda: ah yes protect this seventeen year old

wanda: not the other seventeen year old that fuckin died for you

harley: angsty time

mr stark: oh hi harley ive been meaning to talk to u

peter: mr stark no

mr stark: mr stark yes

mr stark: hey harley do u wanna be iron lad or??

harley: spajabnajwna why me???

mr stark: bc i trust u

harley: a horrible decision really

harley: but i'll get back to you on that offer

valkyrie: oh hi!!! what is 'big dick energy'??

rhodes: oh god what did you do her

carol: peter parker did nothing. do not blame him

steve: Peter, why?

carol: i said he did nothing

peter: thanks aunt carol :)))

harry: shes just proving your innocence, not helping you in anyway tho since we know it was you

mr stark: im sorry, who are u?

harry: im harry osborne, motherfucker

peter: this is my friend harry :)))

peter: his dad was the green goblin :))

harry: stfu pete

loki: why am i in this chat

sam: ew, a rat

soft: samuel be nice

sam: im not taking orders from someone called 'soft'

harley: lmao

soft: this is peter parker's fault. blame him

peter: betrayal

shuri: rip to peter but im different

mj: babe, be nice

shuri: okay <3

mj: <3

strange: these bitches gay. good for them

clint: lets go lesbians!!

thor: Fucking superb you funky little lesbians

furry: weird name gang rise up

soft: weird name gang rise up

ant: weird name gang rise up

wasp: weird name gang rise up

peter: im being exposed

harley: silence, bottom

mr stark: why are you telling yourself to be quiet?

natasha: wrecked

peter: #riptoharleybutimdifferent

sam: i seriously dislike this kid

peter: that is aphobic

natasha: ace and/or aro gang rise up

peter: aroace gang rise up

wanda: ace gang rise up

loki: ace gang rise up

harry: aro gang rise up

sam: wait how many of us are lgbtq+???

soft: i am. homo

sam: ^

steve: I am bicycle.

steve: I am birthday.

steve: I am bitch.

steve: i like girls and boys.

mr stark: i am demisexual :)

strange: move, im gay

harley: ^ mood

wasp: im bi 👈👀👈

pepper: ^^

carol: lesbians rise up

hill: lesbians rise up

shuri: lesbians rise up

okoye: lesbians rise up

mj: im ☆~bisexual~☆

valkyrie: mood ^

thor: I'm pansexual :D

betty: im mtf and polysexual :)

bruce: I'm gay

ant: i am not in the lgbtq+ community, but im an ally <3

rhodes: ^^^^

ned: ^^^ same

nebula: i like girls

mr stark: oh nice of u to drop in

nebula: oh hi dad

peter: lmao imagine being a child of tony stark

harley: imagine

nebula: lol imagine

mr stark: i get it

strange: you didnt tell me you had children

mr stark: to be fair, they arent technically my children

strange: okay fine


End file.
